Written by the CultivaTeen Roots Team

7-minute read

Creating healthy family routines for you and your teen can feel like a balancing act. After all, we are not only managing ourselves but are co-managing our teens’ fast-paced lives. Routines not only help you create the structure for this busy season of life but also foster independence for your teen. Here are some simple, yet effective strategies you can use to support your teen in building healthy routines that promote self-sufficiency and confidence.

1. Rise & Shine: Helping Your Teen Start the Day Right

Mornings with a teenager can sometimes feel like weathering a storm, between that inevitable last-minute outfit change, forgotten assignments, and snoozed alarms, mayhem can quickly ensue. While mornings may never be calm and peaceful, there are ways you can set your teen up for success- creating a routine that incorporates things they look forward to, whether that’s their favorite breakfast or cuddling with the family dog, can help them feel empowered to take on the day. Here are some ideas to get you and your teen started:

• Weekday Alarms: Setting an alarm for the same time Monday-Friday can help your teen with early morning wake-ups, but the key is consistency- as tempting as it may be to press that snooze button, getting up at the same time each day helps regulate your teen’s internal clock. It is highly encouraged that your teen is responsible for this wake-up time on their own. Remember, creating new habits can be difficult, so help keep your teen on track when they inevitably sleep through their alarm and problem-solve ways they can be more successful together. 
• Eat Something: While a healthy and nutritious breakfast is ideal, eating anything before school begins is a win. Maybe your teen isn’t hungry in the morning or you don’t have time to make breakfast- keep a stash of protein bars or frozen breakfast sandwiches on hand. Making breakfast quick and accessible means your teen is more likely to head out of the house with some fuel to start their day.
• Plan Ahead: Do some of the heavy lifting at night to make mornings run more smoothly. Have your teen: pick out their outfit, pack a backpack, prepare lunch, and maybe even make breakfast. If there is something out of the ordinary your teen needs to be ready for, like a form they need to turn in or a sports bag they have to bring for a game, have them set it out or write themselves a note the night before.
• Pause: Mornings aren't the best time to address issues or concerns. When we are feeling stressed, it’s easy to pick a fight or take out our frustration on others. Instead, PAUSE and use your go-to coping tool (we share lots of tips on how to regulate yourself in tough moments in our course, Making AdoleSense!) and choose to make a positive comment instead. You and your teen will feel better.

2. Navigating the After-School Routine & Post-School Slump

When your teen comes home from a long day of school, it is perfectly normal for them to feel tired, stressed, or overwhelmed. They are juggling a lot, and learning does suck the life out of their developing brains. Having a solid after-school routine can help your teen decompress and find that healthy balance of downtown, while also managing their after-school responsibilities. Here are some ideas to get you and your teen started: 

• Encourage Movement: Physical activity relieves tension and releases endorphins. Have your teen take the dog on a walk, join you for a yoga class, or participate in a sports team at their school.  
• Fuel Up: After a long day at school that may include extracurricular activities, make sure to have accessible snacks on hand for your teen. 
• Academics: Help your teen dedicate time for homework or study after school, ideally within an hour of getting home, and after some physical movement or a snack. You can support your teen by having them make a list of what they need to complete that afternoon or which of their assignments have approaching due dates. While their day-to-day schedule likely looks different, helping them create a flexible structure for how they plan on completing school work will keep them on track.
• Downtime: High school is often a stressful time for teenagers. Between navigating school, family expectations, and social expectations, adolescents are often spread thin. While these responsibilities are important, so is making space for downtime. Whether it’s spending time with friends, watching a favorite show, playing video games, or skipping an after-school activity once in a while to prioritize mental health, teens need to learn how to create balance in their lives. As parents, you can support this balance by giving them permission to take a break when you notice signs of stress or being overwhelmed.

3. Rest & Recharge: Creating Healthy Sleep Habits

One of the biggest ironies of parenting a teen is the struggle to get them to sleep each night, only to have them refuse to wake up for school in the morning. Creating healthy sleep habits is vital for their well-being, but many adolescents don’t meet the recommended nine hours of nightly sleep. Studies actually show that less than half of teens get the shut-eye they need, which can lead to increased stress, difficulty regulating emotions, and an inability to focus (Garey, Teens and sleep: The cost of sleep deprivation). While teens are in a stage of development where they are likely managing their own bedtime, parents still play an essential role in supporting healthy sleep habits. By setting boundaries and working with your teen to develop a consistent nighttime routine, you can help them get the rest they need, leading to smoother mornings and better overall well-being. Here are some ideas to get you and your teen started:

• Set a Consistent Bedtime: Having a set bedtime, or time frame, is important for building consistency in your teen’s sleep schedule.  
• Limit Screen Time: Encourage your teen to put away their phone or computer and turn off the tv at least 30 minutes before bedtime, as blue light from screens can interfere with sleep. You may also need to set boundaries around how much access your teen has to their phone at nighttime. Some ideas to help your teen relax before bed: dimming the lights, reading, meditation, or listening to calming music. 
• Leave on a positive note: Just like mornings aren't the best time to address issues or concerns with your teen, bedtime is the same. This time of day should be about unwinding and preparing for the next day. Conversations at bedtime should be light and focused on positivity. 

4. Weekend Routines: Balancing it all…Rest, Responsibility, and Fun

Weekends provide your teen with the opportunity to unwind, recharge, and rest; however, they likely also have extracurricular activities and academic or household responsibilities they need to take care of. It is important to help your teen find the balance between being a 'teen'- socializing with friends, spending time with family, and relaxing-while also managing their other obligations. Here are some ideas to get you and your teen started:

Time to Unwind: After a long week of school and extracurricular activities, your teen needs to have unstructured time to relax and recharge. And remember, what’s rejuvenating for you may be different for your teen. Talk to them about what they enjoy doing in their free time- hanging out with friends, reading, physical activity, watching tv- and then help them prioritize these things throughout the weekend.

Weekend Responsibilities: While weekends are a time to rest, including small tasks or chores into your teen’s schedule supports their independence, allows them to contribute to the household, and builds their time management skills. You might decide to make it your teens responsibility to clean up the dog poop in your yard or help you make a grocery list for the week- the key is to make sure your teen is clear on what their responsibilities are and what expectations you have of them.  

Include Time for Socialization and Fun: The weekend is a great opportunity for your teen to connect with friends or explore different interests. Whether it’s catching a movie with some new friends, going to the farmers market, or attending a local event, make room for activities that allow your teen to enjoy life outside of school and family obligations. These experiences can often have huge impacts on who your teen is becoming, allowing them to explore the world around them and learn about who they are.

Plan for the Week Ahead: Setting aside a bit of time to help your teen prepare for the week ahead is another great way to teach them time management skills and can reduce weekday stress. Whether it’s picking out clothes for the week, prepping lunches, organizing school materials, or reviewing your teen’s schedule with them, their preparation will reduce weekday stress. 

Final Thoughts

Helping your teen learn how to build healthy routines is a continuous process; however, your persistence will pay off. By incorporating structure into their life, you are supporting their independence, time management skills, and self-awareness. It is important to remind yourself that routines are not intended to create rigidity but to provide boundaries for your teen to operate within. But even more important, trust that your teen is integrating these skills into the person they’re becoming, allowing their future self to be confident, self-sufficient, and resilient.

Sources:

Garey, Juliann. “Teens and Sleep: The Cost of Sleep Deprivation.”

Child Mind Institute, 8 Mar. 2024, childmind.org/article/happens-teenagers-dont-get-enough-sleep/.